I won't go that far back ... Just the last day of my pregnancy before he made his grand appearance. So yes, this is my labour story. If you're not into hearing about other people's labours, I would advise you to not continue reading. I didn't think I would write about this because I didn't think I'd be willing to air such private matters in such a public thing as a blog. But I'm just too excited about it not to. Don't worry, I have saved the not-so-glamorous details for close girlfriends and older women who are interested.
Friday, December 14th
It all began on Friday, December 14th. I went to my obstetrician for an appointment, 39 weeks pregnant, 200 pounds exactly. I'm a little proud I made it all the way to 200. I consider it something of an accomplishment. Anyway, my OB had left for Christmas holidays in Australia, so I had a different OB meet with me. This also meant that my OB would certainly not deliver my baby. I was ok with this. I would rather a [qualified] stranger deliver my baby then someone I've come to know over time. Plus, I didn't really connect with my OB very well, so it all worked out. At this visit, the resident examining me asked if I wanted a "stretch and sweep". If you don't know what this is, you can google it. Plainly put, it is a procedure to encourage labour. I agreed. Immediately following the procedure, I had intense cramping. Then I met with the OB for a brief chat and we were all done. Afterward, Stevie and I walked around St. Laurent mall for a while to kill time before he went to work.
The Misunderstanding
While at the mall, Stevie and I took a break from walking and sat down in the food court. I was texting my friends about my appointment and my cramping. My friend Charity was very excited and told me not to have the baby until she was back in town on Saturday. I told her I'd do my best. Then I turned my phone onto silent and put it away in order to give my full attention to Stevie before he went to work. After we drove him to work, I went home and had a nap.
Later, I went to my parent's house for dinner. We were all gathered around the dinner table, stuffed from a delicious meal, and I was telling a story about one of my first doctors appointments after I got pregnant. Let's just say it's about the lack of discretion at a doctors office, specifically pertaining to urine samples. It's really quite a funny story. Anyway, we were all laughing when my mom's cell phone rang. She picked it up and made a puzzled face. She looked at me with a probing stare and responded slowly to the person on the line, "I don't think she's in labour... Didi, are you in labour?"
It was Stevie on the phone, sounding rattled and confused. Apparently, after not responding to Charity's texts and call, she was worried I might have gone into labour. I had forgotten to turn the ringer on my phone back on after my nap. Charity didn't have Stevie's number. So she texted Dave, who also didn't have Stevie's number. Then he called Joey who called Stevie from Tammy's phone to say that I was in labour! Stevie tried to call me but my phone was on silent. He then began to arrange a staff to come relieve him so he could come home. But then he got a hold of my mom. Whew! What a ordeal. By the time Stevie and I spoke, he was completely stressed, overwhelmed and confused. Charity felt pretty bad too... It was like a real live version of telephone!
Labour and Delivery: Saturday
On Saturday, I continued to have intense cramps and increasing pressure. I had been working on editing old home videos for the past few months to give as Christmas presents to my family and, since I still hadn't finished, I feverishly edited all day long. I knew that I wouldn't have an opportunity to do any editing once this baby came and since these were the only gifts I was giving this year it was imperative that I finished. I also took a long walk with Stevie and updated my family and girlfriends about how I was feeling. A long, ongoing email chain from my small group sisters also kept me busy and entertained. It was complete with encouragement, wisdom from the other moms about what I should do to encourage labour and a subsequent debate about whether or not sex helps in that regard... I don't claim to know the answer, but I did wake up at 3:30 am with intense contractions... Maybe it was the walk...
Sunday
Yes, at this point I knew that I was in early labour. I wasn't sure I'd know if I was having contractions when they came, but these extreme ebbing version of menstrual cramps that I couldn't sleep through were undeniably that: contractions. I lay awake for a while and then got up and started the process of packing my hospital bag. I woke Stevie up an hour later at 4:30 and told him I was pretty sure I was in labour. I told him not to worry because it's very common for women's contractions to stop after a while and that we shouldn't get our hopes up. But still, we wanted to be prepared so Stevie went about cleaning the whole house from top to bottom. He does this before we leave for a trip too. He doesn't like to come home to a messy house. While he cleaned I packed, prepped and edited. Somewhere between 7 and 9 am we decided to tell our folks. I heard Stevie's mom squealing on the other end of the line, making similar sounds when we told her I was pregnant. She told me that I would do a beautiful job and that everything was going to be fine.
Right from the start the contractions were consistently between 5-7 minutes apart, lasting about 30 seconds. Throughout the day they increased in frequency, duration and intensity. I was actually having a great time. I was excited and happy and busy. The last video I had to make was my younger sister's video and I worked on it for most of the day, doing my best to work through the contractions until they became to intense not to pause and curl up. I made sure to eat regularly and drink lots of water because I knew I would need my strength and you never know when you're going to need to go to the hospital and not be allowed to eat anymore. During this time, I had the tastiest shawarma of my life. I gobbled it down in like 5 minutes while sitting on an exercise ball watching youtube videos under the search title "How to go through labour".
My bag was packed, the house was spotless and I had finally finished Esther's video. We had previously planned to go to my parents' house for supper and decided there was no need to cancel. I really enjoy spending time with my family plus there was a thousand-piece puzzle I was dying to finish at their place. Most practically, the weather outside was frightful, but their house is delightfully close to the hospital (only 5 minutes), so it was an obvious choice to go over.
Thyme for a Quick Detour
But there was one stop I had to make before we went. Thyme Maternity. I really wanted a nursing bra before I went to the hospital. It was now or never. At this point I had been in labour for 12 hours. I was no longer able to talk through my contractions and began breathing quite heavily and needing to stand up during each one. They were also closer together and lasting longer. Stevie kept asking if I was sure I wanted to go. I was determined. It was 4:50, 10 minutes before they closed the store for the night. I marched in there straight to the back where the two sales ladies were and said "Listen, I'm in labour and we're on our way to the hospital and I need a nursing bra. That's all I need, please don't try to sell me anything else". I can never go in there without someone trying to sell me all kinds of stuff. I'm sure you can imagine their reaction. They were wide-eyed and frenzied, asking my bra size... "I don't know, this size", I said a little irked, gesturing to my chest. One of them quickly measured me and sent me to the change room with a bra. If you've ever been in labour, I hope you can appreciate how difficult it is to try on clothing at such a time. I'm trying to get my winter gear off so I can make sure the fit is right and yelling "go" and "ok, it's over" so Stevie could time my contractions. After a few tries, I found the right size and we were outta there, but not before the saleslady tried to sell me a second bra and a set of pyjamas. I didn't even try to hide my annoyance.
Chez Johnson
Then we were off to my parents' place. We drove WAY under the speed limit on the way there due to the weather. One car even almost ran us off the road because he changed lanes without shoulder-checking. Always shoulder-check. When we arrived we watched Mall Cop while I worked on the puzzle in between contractions. Then we watched a made-for-TV Christmas special that I could barely stand. Thankfully my contractions were giving me a little something else to focus on... Although the girl's plight to save the frost-bitten horses was a welcome distraction from my pain. I had been eating well all day and by the time dinner rolled around I had began to feel quite nauseous. But, one of a pregnant woman's worst fear is becoming hungry, so I forced the delicious meal down anyway. Not to mention, I knew I needed my strength. I left the table early with Stevie to go downstairs. At this point, I was in such pain that I didn't want people feeling bad for me. Plus, I didn't want my sisters to not want kids because of me and seeing my labour. It was nice to be alone with Stevie. I had a favourite position on the exercise ball where I was on all fours (well I couldn't really put my hands on the ground...) with the ball under my belly and I would roll on the ball, pushing my belly down through the contraction. It really helped with the pain, although I still breathed very loud and fast also to cope. While we were downstairs, the whole family (plus my Aunt and Stevie's mom) were upstairs decorating the tree and Christmas cookies.
8:39pm glamour shot
At around 9pm, we called the hospital to see if we should go in. A nurse asked a bunch of questions and then said we could come in if we felt it was necessary or I could go in the tub for a bit. I decided the tub sounded like a good idea. At this point my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, lasting about a minute. I went in the extra long tub in the newly renovated bathroom. The lights were dim, it smelt like sweet scents from the body shop and I continued to snack and drink water (even though I was still nauseous). It was quite relaxing, as much as can be expected, and things began to progress quite quickly from there. Stevie was being extremely helpful, as he had all day, and pushed on my lower back through each contraction. He graciously followed my instructions as I impatiently barked orders like "NO lower!", "NO to the left" and "Push harder!" After almost 2 hours, I decided it was time to go. My whole family stood at the door and waved goodbye as we left and my dad drove us to the hospital. This way Stevie could be with me in the back seat and we didn't need to pay for parking. At this point I was getting loud. I felt bad for my dad who had to listen to my pain on the way there.
At The Hospital
We arrived to the Queensway Carleton, signed in and were taken immediately to the delivery room. Our nurse was young and laid back and made me feel at ease. She asked if I thought I wanted anything for pain yet and I said I wanted to wait longer. It was 11:30, I had been in labour for 19 hours and I was 6 centimetres dilated. My water still hadn't broken. I was pretty proud of myself for making it that far without pain medication. I decided to go in the tub again since that helped so much at my folks'. This bathroom, however, wasn't like my parent's newly renovated spa-like bathroom. No, this bathroom in my delivery room had bright florescent lights, and smelt like urine. Plus, when the water filled the tub it looked yellow. And no, it couldn't have been me because it looked like that before I got in! So the ambiance was not ideal, but it was still good to be in the water. The nurse forgot to check the temperature of the water and I just stepped right in - no toe-check prior to full immersion. I'm pretty sure it boiled me. But I didn't care. I couldn't wait for it to cool down. So Stevie put an ice cold cloth on my head which he soaked with fresh cold water in between each contraction and poured cold water into my mouth from my water bottle. Without the cold water, I'm sure I would have birthed a hard-boiled egg. In the hospital tub, I pulled the safety bars while pushing against the tub to endure the contractions. I still had Stevie pushing my back and Stevie told me later that he thought I would have the baby in the tub since I was making sounds like they make in the movies when they're pushing a baby out.
After a little more than an hour, the contractions weren't stopping in between. This is the genius behind God's design in childbirth. He knew we couldn't handle the pain if it were constant, so he gave us little breaks that make it endurable. Amazing. But between 8-10 centimetres, the break between contractions turns into a dull pain, so you never feel like you get relief. It's called transition. I had learned that in one of the youtube videos I'd watched earlier so I knew I was nearing the end. I was also in more pain than I knew what to do with and the nurse wanted to check me so I got out. She checked me and sure enough, I was at 8 cm. I was beginning to think I could do this without pain medication. Although it was extremely painful, I had psyched myself up so much for labour that it was way better than I could ever imagine. Pain for gain. And I was excited.
But there was a little problem. When the nurse checked me she also discovered that the baby was sunny side up. That's where the baby is still head down, but facing up (if you're lying down, or in other words, facing the same direction as the mother), instead of facing down like they're supposed to. This can make pushing take a long time. The nurse told me that I could end up pushing for hours. That's when I decided to get the epidural. I wasn't set on a natural birth, I just thought it would be cool. So when I decided on the epidural I wasn't at all disappointed. My fear was that, if I didn't get it, I would be too exhausted to push.
The Epidural
The nurse warned me about the anesthesiologist. She said he was extremely particular and likes everything just so. She warned me that it can be quite frustrating and difficult to get just where he wants you. She was right. He was an old, placid gentleman with glasses at the tip of his nose. He said little to me or the nurse when he came in and set about his work unhurriedly. And boy oh boy was he ever particular. This was probably the hardest part of my entire labour. He had me sit on the bed all the way at the far edge so my legs were straight out with only my shins feet extending off the bed. I hadn't been able to sit through a contraction, especially without being able to bend my knees since the very beginning and now, I couldn't move either. The anesthesiologist was just as the nurse described him and continued to request I move. "Now," he spoke SO slowly, "Can you move you left hip, oh lets say, 2 centimetres back toward me". It was the closest thing to torture I've experienced. When I was finally in the optimal position, I gripped Stevie and the nurse as the long needle went into my back. I didn't even care about the needle - it didn't hurt - it was the contractions and being forbidden to move. I had 4 contractions during the procedure where I couldn't move a muscle. Once again, if you've been through labour, you can appreciate how difficult this was.
Once the epidural took effect, it only worked on one side. This freaked me out a little because it happened to my mom when she gave birth to me. She describes my birth as hands down, the worst of the three. But, after some jiggling around of the tubes (from the nurse, not me) and lying on my side, it took effect on the left side as well. I was glad it worked, but quite concerned when something didn't feel right. "Um, why have my contractions stopped? IS something wrong?" I asked the nurse. She smiled and told me that I was having a contraction at that very moment. I was delighted. I kept telling Stevie "This is amazing" and "I feel so good right now" and "This has been the best day!" It was all true. Soon after, I fell asleep and Stevie fell asleep on a chair. I woke up to get checked a while later because my water had broken. I didn't even notice. Then I fell back to sleep.
Meeting Our Son
I woke up a while later just after 4 am to a unique pressure. I called the nurse and told her it felt like there was a head coming down, which was of course exactly what was happening. It was the coolest feeling ever. Since it didn't hurt, I just felt a head coming down and then move up slightly... Sort of like two steps forward, one step back. The nurse checked and sure enough, the baby was coming. She told me, "I see his head, he's bald!" She had me give two big pushes and two little ones. Then told me to stop so she could get the doctor. Then the doctor came and I think I pushed maybe 4 times and the head was out. Then one more and the whole baby was out. No more than 15 minutes since I felt the pressure of the head coming down and he was out!
I was totally overwhelmed. There were about 5 seconds of silence after the baby came out. They felt like forever. I was holding my breath waiting for the cry. And then I heard it. I smiled and let out a cry of relief. He only cried for a few moments and then quieted down. "It's a boy!" They said and held him up for me to see. I had a son. I had had a son for nine months, but now he was on the outside and I could meet him. The doctor asked if the daddy wanted to cut the cord. The first thing I thought was, "That's a strange question, why would my dad be here?". Then I realized she was talking to Stevie. He cut the cord and I watched through a blur of tears. They took the baby away to clean him and slap on a diaper. Stevie and I were gripping one another's hands. The nurse asked us what his name was. We looked at each other and smiled and Stevie told her "Theophilus David Andrews". NOW he was real. He had a name. The nurses came back and placed Theo on my chest. I don't know how to explain how I felt. I suppose it's not something that can be explained. But here is a picture that says it pretty well.
I kept whispering, "I've been waiting for you", "I can't believe you're here" and "I love you so much" and variations of the the three. He was perfect. He looked perfect, he smelt perfect (Oh boy did he ever smell amazing), he felt perfect - resting on my chest and in my arms, he sounded perfect - making little snorts... And he was ours. I felt this surge of uncontrollable emotion flood my heart and spill out of my eyes. I was overwhelmed with a deep sense of God's goodness and love for me, that He would give me this gift and fill me with love for him. If I'm God's child, like Theo is my child, and I love Theo as much as I do (with my limited and faulty love), how much more does my Father, a perfect God with perfect love, love me!
Almost one year ago, I felt strongly that God wanted me to have a baby. We had thought maybe in a few more years, when we'd earned more money and when people would take us more seriously, we'd get pregnant. But God had different plans. We decided to obey God rather than bow to the cultural norms. We got pregnant right away. God wanted us to have this baby at this time. Theo is nothing short of a gift. He will always be my reminder to obey God even when it's not easy or convenient or popular. Theophilus means 'lover of God' and is just one way that God reveals His love to us.
To God be the glory, great things he has done!
Daddy holding Theo
He found his thumb right away, 10 mins old
Practically perfect in every way
