Interestingly enough giving birth was the easy part. And it wasn't even easy! The recovery process proved to be longer and more difficult than I had anticipated, even with much candid preparation from my friends.
As with the labour story, if you're not interested in some unpleasant details, this post probably isn't for you. If you are a man, this post definitely isn't for you. As I write this, I think of my friends who are getting ready to have babies and want to know what other moms have experienced. I hope this helps to mentally prepare you a tad. Without further ado, here is my unabridged story...
WOO-HOO!
Let's jump right in. I tore. I didn't mention this in my post about the delivery because I thought it would take away from my depiction of the joy-filled arrival of my bouncing baby boy. And because of the epidural, I didn't even know I tore until the doctor told me she was going to stitch up my third degree laceration. For some context, only about 4% of women who deliver vaginally end up with such severe tearing as a third-degree or fourth-degree tear. The reason for me was likely due to Theo's size (8lbs), in part, but more likely the fact that I only pushed for 10 minutes. With no time to stretch out, perhaps tearing was inevitable.
Because of this unfortunate incident I had a lot of trouble walking, sitting, and the worst, using the bathroom. The first day after giving birth I felt fine. The epidural took some time to wear off and I was on Tylenol, Advil and Morphine for the pain. I didn't even think the painkillers were necessary because I didn't think I was in pain. But when the epidural fully wore off was when the pain really got started. On day 2 and 3 I was thankful for the painkillers, to say the least. There were a few times when the nurse didn't come in and ask if I wanted my next dose of morphine. I didn't think much of it immediately but I always ended up pressing the call button a few hours after my anticipated dose. In tears, I would ask for some relief, wondering why I hurt so much. Lots of stitches, a sensitive wound and... hemorrhoids (ughh) will do that to a girl. Even my nurses pitied me and affirmed that my affliction was legitimate. They would say things "Oh my, you poor thing!" which actually made me feel better.
I was also taking a stool softener in my pile of pills they gave me. Yes, this post is all about being totally frank. I was told that when the time came, I would appreciate it. And boy, did I! But it's effects weren't lasting. The day I came home, my little friend the stool softener didn't seem to treat me quite so well. All I will say about that is that it felt like I birthed a second child. Flushing it away felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend I had, only moments before, worked to hard to produce. This type of pain continued for over a week and began to slowly improve after that.
Stitch vs Itch
Once the pain decreased, something worse and more horrible took its place about 3 weeks later: Itching. Just think about when you get a cut and it begins to heal. What happens? It itches. Perhaps the worst feeling on earth is an itch you cannot scratch. That is where a gift from my girlfriends triumphantly swooped in and saved the day (figuratively speaking, of course). Before I had Theo, my sisters in my small group (not biological sisters) put together a basket of post-baby goodies and necessities. There were chocolate bars and epsom salts for comfort, a notebook and pen to record feeding and sleeping patterns and whatever (complete with a few pages of wisdom from the mamas), a water bottle to drink from when I'm thirsty from nursing, kleenex for when I cry... I'm not sure if I'm forgetting anything... And finally, a ring of measuring cups with a stack of maxi pads and a recipe card hole-punched onto the ring. Upon further inspection, I read the recipe card that looked something like this:
The 'Woo-hoo' Soother -
You'll need: 1/4 cup water
a pad
a freezer
a 'woo-hoo'
Instructions: Pour 1/4 cup of water onto open pad, freeze until frozen, apply.
This was SO helpful with the itch. Although I used this method for the pain in the earlier days, it was the only thing that kept me from losing my head from the taunting itch. Woo-hoo indeed.
My Breast Friend
So what's my story on breastfeeding? First of all, I was really excited to try it out, knowing it was the best option for my baby. I also knew that it is not uncommon for breastfeeding to be difficult for mother and baby and sometimes even impossible to lean on as the only feeding method (latching issues, milk supply, etc.). So, like my stance on pain relief during childbirth, I held my preference loosely, knowing anything could happen. I was ok with that. And it's a good thing too. You see, Theo was born with Ankyloglossia. Sounds scary... But I just wanted to be dramatic. It's simply the medically correct way for saying Theo is tongue-tied.
Now, before I gave birth (starting almost 2 weeks before) I was leaking colostrum, a nutrient-rich form of breast-milk that comes in before your regular milk. After I gave birth, I had loads of the stuff keeping Theo fat and happy. That was really helpful, and apparently unusual that I produced so much. So the first couple days were a breeze. But he never really latched properly, giving me a few mean and painful hickies. Eventually, the nurse gave (sold) me a nipple shield. Her and the lactation consultant convinced me that with the combination of "his short tongue and my flat nipples", it would help him get enough milk until his tongue or my nipples shaped up and helped out. It's amazing how a little comment can make you feel like a freak. No matter, I'm over it. The latter has happened since (suction has a way of extending that which was once flat), but his tongue is still short and cannot extend past his lips. So I'm still using the nipple shield. We call it my fipple (fake nipple). I can nurse without it, but it often means a lot of readjusting throughout a feeding which can be a little frustrating for both of us.
This week we are going to CHEO. We decided to get his tongue (the lingual frenulum... The thing that connects the bottom of the tongue to the floor of the mouth) clipped so he can latch properly and I don't have to use the fipple for the next year. We also want to avoid him having speech issues when he's older. The good thing is, babies don't have the blood vessel under their tongue like adults do so getting it snipped a little won't be painful.
Engorgement Etc.
In other breastfeeding news, I did become engorged once. It was Christmas eve and we were at Stevie's aunts' for her annual Christmas party. Even though I had been nursing Theo religiously every 2 hours, all of the sudden I realized that my breasts (one more than the other) was full and extremely painful. It was tingling and burning and awful. I also had forgotten to take my pain meds that afternoon... It was the most pain I'd been in since the delivery. Anyway, I nursed him every 2 hours for the next few days and it went away and hasn't happened since. I would very much like if that never ever happened again.
I was also anticipating having contractions while breastfeeding or having a painful letdown experience, neither of which happened. I'm very grateful for that. All in all, this whole breastfeeding thing has been great. I just sort of wish is was easier to do in public...
Wait for the Weight
I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy. Fifty-five pounds to be precise, with a final weigh-in at exactly two-hundred pounds right before Theo was born. I didn't really eat a lot of junk or indulge in my cravings (except on special occasions). I think my body just needed the extra weight. I also had a lot of water weight. Not everyone swells up like I did, but even my lips plumped up. And it didn't go down right away when he was born either. As you can see in this picture, --> I was quite swollen. I had night sweats every night for over 2 weeks and the water weight is finally coming down. I know that it's a normal part of childbearing, but it's still hard to be bigger than I was... I guess it took me nine months to gain all this weight, it might take another nine months (or more) to lose it. Heck, I might never lose it and that's ok too. It's a price I'll gladly pay for my child[ren].
Shark Attack
When Stevie and I were on our honeymoon scuba diving in the ocean, our instructor took us to a spot to dive way out in the open water. We dove quite deep to see a certain reef that was supposedly quite beautiful. It was extremely dark. I could't see much beyond our instructor's headlamp. After seeing some incredible coral, we started swimming up when I saw a huge shadow right beside me............... Just kidding. That never happened. The reason this is subtitled "shark attach" is because I got a lot of stretch marks.
One night as I was looking at myself in the mirror, Stevie came in looking concerned. "...Does it... hurt?" At another time he said it looked like I had been attacked by a shark. He means well :). Alas, I got lots of purple stretch marks all over my stomach, hips, thighs and of course, my breasts. Although stretch marks don't hurt physically, they hurt to look at. Now they look less like purple water-colour lightning bolts and more like scars from a set of sharp teeth or claws. A friend once said she thought God gave us pimples to strengthen our character. I think stretch marks and a flabby tummy are my pimples. I'm glad I didn't wear bikinis regularly before because I'm certainly never wearing one ever again. Even if Stevie and I go scuba diving again.
Anyway, there is SO much more I could say about my recovery, but the longer a post becomes the less inspiration I have (and the less people like you want to read it). To close, here are some things I couldn't live without:
- A Husband
Stevie was amazing during the whole process. He took three weeks off and I don't think I changed more then 5 diapers in those whole three weeks. He has also been verbally affirming as I adjust to my new body (It's been a hard adjustment). He tells me I look beautiful everyday and I choose to believe him.
- A Private Room
Ok, I could live without a private hospital room (and the bill!). But Stevie and I decided to make a little investment. We feared the worst about semi-private rooms after hearing horror stories from friends about getting no rest between other people's visitors and colicky roommates. So we went for it. And I'm so glad.
- A Sitz Bath
A little bit of epsom salt dissolved into a warm sitz bath provided much needed relief throughout the day and really helped to heal the area... Woo-hoo!
- A Hot Bath
I don't usually enjoy sitting in the tub.. I get bored. And after sogg-a-fying a few too many books and ruining my blackberry after texting in the tub, I never know what to do in there after I've lathered, rinsed and repeated... But boy oh boy having a bath was the bomb!... or the the balm I needed for my tired, sore, aching body. There was nothing better those first few weeks.
- Frozen Pads (The Woo-hoo soother)
It may seem a little shocking (both the idea and the feeling immediately after application) but SO worth it. If you don't say woo-hoo, we'll refund your money and you can keep the free measuring cups as our gift to you!
- Friends (really just the meals they bring you)
Some people think that by visiting they are helping you out. But visitors, no matter who they are, are exhausting. Just making sure I was dressed for friends to come was overwhelming... Anywho... Lots of friends brought us meals. Some even offered to do the dishes and fold laundry too. But the meals were the best. We ate nothing but free meals for 2 weeks. We are very fortunate to have so many generous people in our lives and it was one of the most helpful things!
... Until next time!
WOO-HOO!
Let's jump right in. I tore. I didn't mention this in my post about the delivery because I thought it would take away from my depiction of the joy-filled arrival of my bouncing baby boy. And because of the epidural, I didn't even know I tore until the doctor told me she was going to stitch up my third degree laceration. For some context, only about 4% of women who deliver vaginally end up with such severe tearing as a third-degree or fourth-degree tear. The reason for me was likely due to Theo's size (8lbs), in part, but more likely the fact that I only pushed for 10 minutes. With no time to stretch out, perhaps tearing was inevitable.
I couldn't think of a picture that could work here...
Because of this unfortunate incident I had a lot of trouble walking, sitting, and the worst, using the bathroom. The first day after giving birth I felt fine. The epidural took some time to wear off and I was on Tylenol, Advil and Morphine for the pain. I didn't even think the painkillers were necessary because I didn't think I was in pain. But when the epidural fully wore off was when the pain really got started. On day 2 and 3 I was thankful for the painkillers, to say the least. There were a few times when the nurse didn't come in and ask if I wanted my next dose of morphine. I didn't think much of it immediately but I always ended up pressing the call button a few hours after my anticipated dose. In tears, I would ask for some relief, wondering why I hurt so much. Lots of stitches, a sensitive wound and... hemorrhoids (ughh) will do that to a girl. Even my nurses pitied me and affirmed that my affliction was legitimate. They would say things "Oh my, you poor thing!" which actually made me feel better.
I was also taking a stool softener in my pile of pills they gave me. Yes, this post is all about being totally frank. I was told that when the time came, I would appreciate it. And boy, did I! But it's effects weren't lasting. The day I came home, my little friend the stool softener didn't seem to treat me quite so well. All I will say about that is that it felt like I birthed a second child. Flushing it away felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend I had, only moments before, worked to hard to produce. This type of pain continued for over a week and began to slowly improve after that.
Stitch vs Itch
Once the pain decreased, something worse and more horrible took its place about 3 weeks later: Itching. Just think about when you get a cut and it begins to heal. What happens? It itches. Perhaps the worst feeling on earth is an itch you cannot scratch. That is where a gift from my girlfriends triumphantly swooped in and saved the day (figuratively speaking, of course). Before I had Theo, my sisters in my small group (not biological sisters) put together a basket of post-baby goodies and necessities. There were chocolate bars and epsom salts for comfort, a notebook and pen to record feeding and sleeping patterns and whatever (complete with a few pages of wisdom from the mamas), a water bottle to drink from when I'm thirsty from nursing, kleenex for when I cry... I'm not sure if I'm forgetting anything... And finally, a ring of measuring cups with a stack of maxi pads and a recipe card hole-punched onto the ring. Upon further inspection, I read the recipe card that looked something like this:
The 'Woo-hoo' Soother -
You'll need: 1/4 cup water
a pad
a freezer
a 'woo-hoo'
Instructions: Pour 1/4 cup of water onto open pad, freeze until frozen, apply.
This was SO helpful with the itch. Although I used this method for the pain in the earlier days, it was the only thing that kept me from losing my head from the taunting itch. Woo-hoo indeed.
My Breast Friend
So what's my story on breastfeeding? First of all, I was really excited to try it out, knowing it was the best option for my baby. I also knew that it is not uncommon for breastfeeding to be difficult for mother and baby and sometimes even impossible to lean on as the only feeding method (latching issues, milk supply, etc.). So, like my stance on pain relief during childbirth, I held my preference loosely, knowing anything could happen. I was ok with that. And it's a good thing too. You see, Theo was born with Ankyloglossia. Sounds scary... But I just wanted to be dramatic. It's simply the medically correct way for saying Theo is tongue-tied.
 |
| You can sort of see his heart-shaped tongue here. This is what it looks like if he tries to stick it out. |
Now, before I gave birth (starting almost 2 weeks before) I was leaking colostrum, a nutrient-rich form of breast-milk that comes in before your regular milk. After I gave birth, I had loads of the stuff keeping Theo fat and happy. That was really helpful, and apparently unusual that I produced so much. So the first couple days were a breeze. But he never really latched properly, giving me a few mean and painful hickies. Eventually, the nurse gave (sold) me a nipple shield. Her and the lactation consultant convinced me that with the combination of "his short tongue and my flat nipples", it would help him get enough milk until his tongue or my nipples shaped up and helped out. It's amazing how a little comment can make you feel like a freak. No matter, I'm over it. The latter has happened since (suction has a way of extending that which was once flat), but his tongue is still short and cannot extend past his lips. So I'm still using the nipple shield. We call it my fipple (fake nipple). I can nurse without it, but it often means a lot of readjusting throughout a feeding which can be a little frustrating for both of us.
This week we are going to CHEO. We decided to get his tongue (the lingual frenulum... The thing that connects the bottom of the tongue to the floor of the mouth) clipped so he can latch properly and I don't have to use the fipple for the next year. We also want to avoid him having speech issues when he's older. The good thing is, babies don't have the blood vessel under their tongue like adults do so getting it snipped a little won't be painful.
Engorgement Etc.
In other breastfeeding news, I did become engorged once. It was Christmas eve and we were at Stevie's aunts' for her annual Christmas party. Even though I had been nursing Theo religiously every 2 hours, all of the sudden I realized that my breasts (one more than the other) was full and extremely painful. It was tingling and burning and awful. I also had forgotten to take my pain meds that afternoon... It was the most pain I'd been in since the delivery. Anyway, I nursed him every 2 hours for the next few days and it went away and hasn't happened since. I would very much like if that never ever happened again.
 |
| Trying to smile through intense pain at the Christmas Eve party |
I was also anticipating having contractions while breastfeeding or having a painful letdown experience, neither of which happened. I'm very grateful for that. All in all, this whole breastfeeding thing has been great. I just sort of wish is was easier to do in public...
Wait for the Weight
I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy. Fifty-five pounds to be precise, with a final weigh-in at exactly two-hundred pounds right before Theo was born. I didn't really eat a lot of junk or indulge in my cravings (except on special occasions). I think my body just needed the extra weight. I also had a lot of water weight. Not everyone swells up like I did, but even my lips plumped up. And it didn't go down right away when he was born either. As you can see in this picture, --> I was quite swollen. I had night sweats every night for over 2 weeks and the water weight is finally coming down. I know that it's a normal part of childbearing, but it's still hard to be bigger than I was... I guess it took me nine months to gain all this weight, it might take another nine months (or more) to lose it. Heck, I might never lose it and that's ok too. It's a price I'll gladly pay for my child[ren].
Shark Attack
When Stevie and I were on our honeymoon scuba diving in the ocean, our instructor took us to a spot to dive way out in the open water. We dove quite deep to see a certain reef that was supposedly quite beautiful. It was extremely dark. I could't see much beyond our instructor's headlamp. After seeing some incredible coral, we started swimming up when I saw a huge shadow right beside me............... Just kidding. That never happened. The reason this is subtitled "shark attach" is because I got a lot of stretch marks.
 |
| On our honeymoon |
One night as I was looking at myself in the mirror, Stevie came in looking concerned. "...Does it... hurt?" At another time he said it looked like I had been attacked by a shark. He means well :). Alas, I got lots of purple stretch marks all over my stomach, hips, thighs and of course, my breasts. Although stretch marks don't hurt physically, they hurt to look at. Now they look less like purple water-colour lightning bolts and more like scars from a set of sharp teeth or claws. A friend once said she thought God gave us pimples to strengthen our character. I think stretch marks and a flabby tummy are my pimples. I'm glad I didn't wear bikinis regularly before because I'm certainly never wearing one ever again. Even if Stevie and I go scuba diving again.
Anyway, there is SO much more I could say about my recovery, but the longer a post becomes the less inspiration I have (and the less people like you want to read it). To close, here are some things I couldn't live without:
- A Husband
Stevie was amazing during the whole process. He took three weeks off and I don't think I changed more then 5 diapers in those whole three weeks. He has also been verbally affirming as I adjust to my new body (It's been a hard adjustment). He tells me I look beautiful everyday and I choose to believe him.
- A Private Room
Ok, I could live without a private hospital room (and the bill!). But Stevie and I decided to make a little investment. We feared the worst about semi-private rooms after hearing horror stories from friends about getting no rest between other people's visitors and colicky roommates. So we went for it. And I'm so glad.
- A Sitz Bath
A little bit of epsom salt dissolved into a warm sitz bath provided much needed relief throughout the day and really helped to heal the area... Woo-hoo!
- A Hot Bath
I don't usually enjoy sitting in the tub.. I get bored. And after sogg-a-fying a few too many books and ruining my blackberry after texting in the tub, I never know what to do in there after I've lathered, rinsed and repeated... But boy oh boy having a bath was the bomb!... or the the balm I needed for my tired, sore, aching body. There was nothing better those first few weeks.
- Frozen Pads (The Woo-hoo soother)
It may seem a little shocking (both the idea and the feeling immediately after application) but SO worth it. If you don't say woo-hoo, we'll refund your money and you can keep the free measuring cups as our gift to you!
- Friends (really just the meals they bring you)
Some people think that by visiting they are helping you out. But visitors, no matter who they are, are exhausting. Just making sure I was dressed for friends to come was overwhelming... Anywho... Lots of friends brought us meals. Some even offered to do the dishes and fold laundry too. But the meals were the best. We ate nothing but free meals for 2 weeks. We are very fortunate to have so many generous people in our lives and it was one of the most helpful things!
... Until next time!
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